Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
