I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
