I cockslap morals
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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