I looked at my own cervix.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
