we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
