OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I smell stomach acid.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
