omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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