I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
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So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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