He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
