my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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