My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
