the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I AM VODKA MAN
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
