I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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