You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
