too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize