your parents love me but you hate me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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