he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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