That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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