Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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