like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
