So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
