I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
