Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
