Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
