if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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