I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
