lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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