I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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