Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
