Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
