Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
handjob tips. give me some.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize