there's paper in my vomit.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she told me i tasted like america
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
