I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
