But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
