I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
