Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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