He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
