she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Holy shit dude........stairs
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