I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize