i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
