my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
