I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
