dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
