Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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