He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
