Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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