I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
