Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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