I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
