Swine flu. Run for my life!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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