how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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