he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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