She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
