told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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