Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
