Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
