I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
