remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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