marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
