I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
