something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
