dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He felt like a one man threesome
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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