it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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